Rules of engagement: All's fair in Love and War My Butt!

As a recent widow trying to move on and tentatively entering the world of dating again, I have to be honest about myself, and what I expect from a prospective suitor. When you reach a certain age in life, you know exactly what you will, won't, and absolutely can't abide in a mate, and it's not due to being set in one's ways. It's because you've dealt with every possible aspect of bull shit imaginable, and you just can't find the energy to cope with poor behavior, and remaining alone is much more preferable compared to dealing with some idiotic loser.

First and foremost, I must warn the opposite sex that I don't chase behind any man. I won't beg you to stay, nor will I clamor for you attention. One thing I made clear to my husband when we married was the fact that he was always a free man. He was free to walk out the door anytime, and better not let it hit him in the ass on the way out. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? Lucky for me, Maurice Guillory adored me unconditionally, and I never once worried about him ever straying, which leads to my next relationship requirement.

I cannot stand to have a man under my feet jammed up my butt 24/7. I do not need your company while I'm in the bathroom, nor is there any need for you to hang on every word of my phone conversations, and interject comments. You had friends before you met me, and there is no reason for you not to keep them unless they are coke headed manwhores I despise (fodder for another blog).  I firmly believe having individual interests, and "airing out" time apart keeps a relationship fresh. If I have to bird dog a man because I can't trust him, that's a waste of my time and energy, and I don't have alot of either to spare. I can't be bothered with that, which is one reason I have pets. If you are the jealous, mistrusting type,and loyalty is what you desire most from a relationship, then spare yourself the stress, dump the chump and just adopt a dog.

Respect is a major deal breaker for me in relationships. I don't make demands, and I'm not the controlling, jealous, type. I don't demand respect, I expect it. If a man does not respect you, then how can you respect him? Respect is earned, true enough, but without self-respect, you can't earn respect, and if you can't respect the one person you should be able to share every aspect of your life, and all your secrets, dreams, plans, hopes, and desires, what's the point? I loved Moe Guillory more than life itself, but I respected that man a million times more, and unless respect is the foundation of your relationship/marriage, you will always struggle to maintain it.

So, bottom line fellas. I'm a damn good woman. Nope, don't have a super model body, and I'm no head turning beauty, and even though I'm always working on looking and feeling my best, I"m more concerned about treating my man the way I want him to treat me. I'm no pushover, and you better bring your A game, or I'll have to tell you about yourself, and it won't be pretty. You have to be able to rein me in, and earn my respect, and appreciate me for me, accepting me just as I am with all my faults, "endearing quirks", warped sense of humor, hidden talents (trying to keep it PG okay) foul mouth, and random acts of hilarity and insanity. I can promise you will enjoy the trust, love, loyalty and support of an honest, hard working, Christian woman, with never a dull moment, some of which might even border on the disturbing and scary, but you will never, ever have to wonder where you stand with me, or have any doubts about my dedication and committment. Like I told Mr. Guillory the morning of our wedding, "if you're scared, say you're scared....". Moe just grinned from ear to ear, laid a liplock on me, looked me dead in the eyes, and said. "I'm positively terrified."