Three days into the new year, and so far so good. 2013 has been pretty uneventful so far, and in some ways I hope it stays that way. Although I didn't realize it at the time, 2012 brought some major changes in my life, some were better than others, but overall most were pretty positive. I think it's important to review the outgoing year in order to make better resolutions for the new year. Well, I sat down last night and dissected all the events of 2012 that impacted me personally, and those events that made us all stop and take note. After analyzing what I'd gleaned, I took my revelations, and revamped some resolutions, and therefore began my personal revolution.
First and foremost, I believe in paying it forward, and performing random acts of kindness. It's just a couple of many things that keeps good triumphing over evil. Yes, I got burned badly by someone I'd called my dear friend for twenty plus years, but that didn't prevent me from helping another friend when they needed me. What that ordeal did teach me is to trust my gut instinct when it comes to people, and to listen when that little inner voice says, " Aw hell no, Nancy!! Are you that damn stupid?" As a nation we have recently learned that there is great evil in the world, and no place, nor any of us, are completely safe. But, we also know from past experience, that good or bad, when the unexpected happens, we pull together to help one another. This year, I'm resolute in my decision to have zero regrets, yet be available when I can offer help where it's needed, therefore I am resolving to pay closer attention to my instincts.
I have a good heart, and when I love someone, I love honestly, unconditionally, and I give it my all. My first dating relationship since being widowed taught me quite a bit about the woman I truly am, and the woman I never want to be... EVER. I allowed some things in that relationship, that I never would have tolerated pre Moe. But I realized being truly loved by such a good man like Moe, really did make me a better person. Moe also set a standard which helped me realize I deserve so much more than what I was accepting from the new relationship. This man and I are still good friends, because there is no point in ending a friendship just because it didn't work out romantically, but I won't ever tolerate disrespect, or accept less than what I know I deserve. Understanding that what I want, and expect from a man, isn't always what I need, and knowing I'm better for walking away when I didn't get what I needed was quite a revelation.
I'm not perfect, nor do I want to be, and realizing the things about myself that need improving can be bitter, and unpleasant, but it's what makes me stronger, and better able to accept what I can't change. I've always been a big girl. My whole life my weight has defined me, whether up or down, that is what people see first about me and I hate that. My nickname was Big Nancy for the longest, and I never let on that I despised it like spiders and grin death and it made me feel so fat and ugly. Well, after 46 years, I am who I am, and yes I, just like everyone else, try to eat healthy and I exercise, and even at my smallest I'm still an amazon. My fat ass does NOT make me Nancy. My personality, spirit, sense of humor, and character make me who I am. For the first time in my life I feel, and KNOW I am beautiful. Sure, I'd like to be slimmer, but I'd rather be healthier, and that is what I'll be fighting for this year. I'm declaring war on poor health, and all the ailments that hold me back from enjoying life more than I already do. My personal health revolution, and I'm going to whip ass and win.
I wish all of you a Happy New Year, and hope and pray your year is filled with good health, and prosperity.
