My father once told me I would always be single because I'd never find a man with more balls than I have. Well, it took awhile, but the right man with a bigger pair eventually found me, and we were happy until he passed away after five years of unconditional love. Now that I'm dating again, I'm finding dear old dad's statement to be truer than I'd like it to be, but I'm not real sure what, if anything, I can do about it.
After recently being told by a man I was once romantically involved with that, "You're like a man with titties", I had to take a step back and truly look at myself to understand just why he would say such a thing. True, I'm not a prissy or fake type of female, but I try to take good care of myself, and Lord knows I'm a perfume, make-up, and accessories whore! I love pretty clothes and dressing nice, and you will rarely see me out and about looking unkempt. But, I know my football, love the outdoors and camping, hiking, fishing, and can out cuss any sailor, although I am very nurturing, a helluva good cook, and as a whole quite domesticated. My daddy made sure I know how to shoot, and handle fire arms safely, and I recently took the class to get my permit to carry concealed. I am not the damsel in distress type, and I can manage on my own when it comes to car maintenance, and minor repairs. I try to deal with life's unpleasantness with grace, and composure, and I know how to be a lady when I need to be one. I've been told I'm a strong woman based on the way I've handled myself during the really tough times I've experienced, so why does that make me less than feminine? Is it because I won't tolerate mistreatment, or poor behavior? Is it because I stand my ground, and demand respect?
I've always been more of a blue jeans and sweat shirt, than high heels and dresses type of gal, and after many years of struggling with my weight, I'm finally comfortable with being a plus size, and curvaceous. I like going to the gym, and staying active, and I'm much more self confident now at 46 than I was 20 years ago. So, why are men my age intimidated, or turned off by confidence, wisdom, and independence? Is it possible to be too honest? Should I pretend I need Captain Save A Ho to swoop in and rescue me? What the hell would he rescue me from?
I guess when I look at the overall picture, I like me just the way I am, and I'm not going to start acting like some simpering candy ass, poor little ol me type to attract or keep a man. If a man isn't attracted to me for being smart, sexy, funny, and down to earth, and/or expects me to change to suit his needs without taking my needs into consideration, then he is not the right man for me. Sorry Captain Save a Ho.... I can be my own super hero.
