It ain't always hormones that makes us ladies cranky and out of sorts. Nine times out of ten a woman's irritability has to do with what she's wearing, how she looks, and whether or not she's hungry. Men have no clue as to what we have to endure in order to appear in public looking at least halfway decent, or presentable enough to prevent mass hysteria. Your man will tell you how beautiful you are when you first wake up in the morning because he wants sex. If he saw you out on the street with hair tangled up like a rat's nest, drool crust around your lips, and mascara boogers in the corners of your eyes, he'd run like a mad dog was after him. Oh sure, he loves seeing you in one of his t-shirts, and tells you that you don't need make-up to be pretty, but try to go somewhere with him in his beat up tee, without your "face" on, and at some point before you walk out the door he is going to get that deer in the headlights look, shuffle about uncomfortably, avoid eye contact and ask you if you are really going out like that. When you give him the stink eye and remind him that he told you that very morning that you were so lovely au natural, he will have one of two choices, neither in his favor, as he will have to A) agree and head on to where ever you were going and pretend to be proud of you, or B) admit he was lying in hopes of getting some action and beg you to glam it up for Pete's sake. Either way he knows he won't be getting lucky again for awhile.
Even after spending hours getting ready, waxing, washing, flossing glossing, conditioning, exfoliating, pampering and polishing resulting in our drop dead gorgeous best, (I'm talking shining like a diamond in a goat's ass, baby!!) if we even seem the least little bit grumpy, or bitchy a man will always chalk it up to that time of the month. Well here's a newsflash Mister. You try functioning in high heels that fit like vice grips, wearing Spanx a couple of sizes too small in order to get maximum benefit, and a push up bra that is boring holes in your ribs, and you will swear you were being squeezed to death by an anaconda! Not to mention you haven't eaten hardly anything all day to make sure your outfit does fit, and you're hungrier than a jip wolf with puppies in January. Then, if and when you finally do eat something, God forbid you have to fart wearing all that and run the risk of imploding, or popping a button with such force you'll put someone's eye out! So now you know that trying to look one's best isn't all it's cracked up to be!
Listen up boys, if you want to have a great relationship and score big with your woman in more ways than one, next time you see a female you're attracted to, or have a fancy date with your steady sweetie, make sure she knows all her beauty efforts are appreciated, and tell her she's knock-out sexy gorgeous. Now, if you want to make sure you get lucky later, tell her she's looking a little too thin, take her out to dinner and encourage her to order dessert, prove to her that you think she is perfect just as she is, and later on when those Spanx do come off... lose your inhibitions and make sure ALL the lights are OFF! .
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Life Wisdom
In spite of my still young age of 44, just a month plus from 45, I feel so much older than my physical years, based on my personal life experiences. I'm not the exception by any means, as people world wide have dealt with various life alterations far, far beyond my comprehension, but I do feel entitled to boast an unprecedented share of wisdom due to my own life altering experiences. Anytime we experience extreme emotional events, such as the birth of a child, marrying our soul mate, losing a loved one, for example, we gain immeasurable amounts of knowledge. Knowledge which varies as we process the experience, and all it entails. Joy, sorrow, love, hatred, pride, pleasure, fear, anger, jealousy, diappointment, dispair, piety, penance, hope, and relief, just the tip of the complex emotional ice berg humans are capable of feeling, and sharing in mutiple ways, all forms of knowledge that results in life wisdom.
Everyone's life wisdom is gained through normal processes of trial and error, learning from our own and other's mistakes. The vast majority of us gain wisdom/ knowledge through life lessons learned depending on our chosen paths, lifestyles, and behaviors we indulge in. The free will God gave us, is usually what determines the severity of harshness, or heighth of reward gained, although circustances and situations arise completely beyond our control, and we learn at the mercy of the elements involved. It is those events, the ones we encounter unexpectedly, without warning, and with such impact that the experience either shapes and enhances our character, or warps and deadens the spirit that remains. The choice is ultimately ours to make.
My early wisdom was gained through the priviledge of growing up in a family of strong southern women, being raised by parents who were totally committed to their children and each other, and having the fear of God pounded into my brain, and onto my backside as needed, considering my willful, headstrong nature. Over the past 44 years I have gathered knowledge from breaking hearts, and being broken, failing miserably, and triumphing over adversity. I've gained immense wisdom from a painful divorce, and self deception, bitter remorse, and dogged perseverance. I've thrived on the jubilation of unconditional love, and dispaired over betrayal, and foolish behavior. But, the three life altering events that have determined who I am, and how I continue my life, have been the most traumatic and soul blistering emotional journeys I've endured. Some might say death has honed my survival skills, and heartache has strengthened my determination, but each of the losses I've experienced resulted in different expressions of grief, and each one processed individually.
My mother's death caused by cancer was sudden, and at the time unthinkable. She was diagnosed on a Tuesday, and she died three days later on Friday, September 21, 2001, just days after the horror of 9/11. While mama's death was surreal, knowing the cancer was so advanced there was nothing that could be done other than trying to keep her comfortable, and I loved her enough to ask God to spare her from further suffering. Four years later, I would again ask God to release my father from the ravages of cancer, and sit with daddy as he took his last breath. Thankfully, I had the love and support of the most wonderful, kind and caring man at that time, and I would eventually be blessed with four years of wedded bliss with that man. Little did I realize, the five years I shared with Maurice "Moe" Guillory would be not only the sweetest, happiest, but all too short lived, years of my life.
Looking back at our marriage, I understand now what it means to give of yourself, totally, and without hesitation. Even though I easily offered Moe my heart, he gave me more love, strength, courage, hope, joy, and respect than humanly imaginable. Moe gave me everything that embodies unconditional love, because he accepted me as I am, and reveled in my flaws, and imperfections. He took genuine pride and joy in the bond we shared, and taught me how to truly give of myself. Moe gave me life wisdom based on pure love while he was alive. Now, as I've navigated this stormy and trecherous ocean of grief over the past 13 months, I am forever grateful for the wisdom gained from knowing Moe,and also from blind faith, and hard fought battles won. Without that wisdom, I would have fallen, succumbed to a pain so agonizing, and deep, I would never have been able to see my world unblurred by tears of hopelessness, again. Even now, as I forge ahead, and try to move on with my life, I am wise enough to realize I will love and miss Moe until I am with him again, but with each day that passes, I honor his memory with joy and laughter, fond memories shared with our friends and family, and I am finally able to take comfort in knowing that his spirit is always with me.
Everyone's life wisdom is gained through normal processes of trial and error, learning from our own and other's mistakes. The vast majority of us gain wisdom/ knowledge through life lessons learned depending on our chosen paths, lifestyles, and behaviors we indulge in. The free will God gave us, is usually what determines the severity of harshness, or heighth of reward gained, although circustances and situations arise completely beyond our control, and we learn at the mercy of the elements involved. It is those events, the ones we encounter unexpectedly, without warning, and with such impact that the experience either shapes and enhances our character, or warps and deadens the spirit that remains. The choice is ultimately ours to make.
My early wisdom was gained through the priviledge of growing up in a family of strong southern women, being raised by parents who were totally committed to their children and each other, and having the fear of God pounded into my brain, and onto my backside as needed, considering my willful, headstrong nature. Over the past 44 years I have gathered knowledge from breaking hearts, and being broken, failing miserably, and triumphing over adversity. I've gained immense wisdom from a painful divorce, and self deception, bitter remorse, and dogged perseverance. I've thrived on the jubilation of unconditional love, and dispaired over betrayal, and foolish behavior. But, the three life altering events that have determined who I am, and how I continue my life, have been the most traumatic and soul blistering emotional journeys I've endured. Some might say death has honed my survival skills, and heartache has strengthened my determination, but each of the losses I've experienced resulted in different expressions of grief, and each one processed individually.
My mother's death caused by cancer was sudden, and at the time unthinkable. She was diagnosed on a Tuesday, and she died three days later on Friday, September 21, 2001, just days after the horror of 9/11. While mama's death was surreal, knowing the cancer was so advanced there was nothing that could be done other than trying to keep her comfortable, and I loved her enough to ask God to spare her from further suffering. Four years later, I would again ask God to release my father from the ravages of cancer, and sit with daddy as he took his last breath. Thankfully, I had the love and support of the most wonderful, kind and caring man at that time, and I would eventually be blessed with four years of wedded bliss with that man. Little did I realize, the five years I shared with Maurice "Moe" Guillory would be not only the sweetest, happiest, but all too short lived, years of my life.
Looking back at our marriage, I understand now what it means to give of yourself, totally, and without hesitation. Even though I easily offered Moe my heart, he gave me more love, strength, courage, hope, joy, and respect than humanly imaginable. Moe gave me everything that embodies unconditional love, because he accepted me as I am, and reveled in my flaws, and imperfections. He took genuine pride and joy in the bond we shared, and taught me how to truly give of myself. Moe gave me life wisdom based on pure love while he was alive. Now, as I've navigated this stormy and trecherous ocean of grief over the past 13 months, I am forever grateful for the wisdom gained from knowing Moe,and also from blind faith, and hard fought battles won. Without that wisdom, I would have fallen, succumbed to a pain so agonizing, and deep, I would never have been able to see my world unblurred by tears of hopelessness, again. Even now, as I forge ahead, and try to move on with my life, I am wise enough to realize I will love and miss Moe until I am with him again, but with each day that passes, I honor his memory with joy and laughter, fond memories shared with our friends and family, and I am finally able to take comfort in knowing that his spirit is always with me.
Welcome to My World View....Nancyisms!
Ok, here it is... my much awaited blog page! Welcome aboard, fasten your seatbelts, and prepare to hear the gospel according to your's truly. While I try to be considerate, and respectful of other's personal preferences, beliefs, political leanings, and delicate sensibilities, this is my damn page, and I'm going to tell it like I believe it should be told. If you are politically correct, extremely religious, easily offended, or like to nitpick over trivial crap, then don't read my blog. Comments are welcome, including constructive criticism, but if I don't like what you say I will delete it...it's MY page, and I can do that. Racist, incendiary, hateful, excessively crude, and outright nasty comments and remarks will not be tolerated, and not only will you be deleted and blocked, you will earn a spot on my Class A Assholes list, which will be published regularly.
While I can't imagine ever running out of topics to discuss, I encourage my readers to make suggestions, ask questions, and offer information/research on any topic near and dear to their heart. I'm fairly open minded, but will draw the line, just not sure exactly where as I have yet to reach my "opinion limit".
I must admit I am excited, and I don't know just how often I will post, so for right now I'll commit to once a week. If I have time, and see the need, I will post bi-weekly. To start I'm just going to play it by ear, since it's quite possible that no one really gives a shit about anything I have to say, although I honestly find that hard to believe because there has to be others out there who out of sheer boredom, and lack of social skills, will read anything in order to interact with other human beings. So my peeps, spread the word, tell your friends, block the kiddies (I do think censorship is a parental right up to a certain age), and be ready for anything, as Nancyisms has been unleashed on a largely unsuspecting world.
Nancy McGehee Guillory
While I can't imagine ever running out of topics to discuss, I encourage my readers to make suggestions, ask questions, and offer information/research on any topic near and dear to their heart. I'm fairly open minded, but will draw the line, just not sure exactly where as I have yet to reach my "opinion limit".
I must admit I am excited, and I don't know just how often I will post, so for right now I'll commit to once a week. If I have time, and see the need, I will post bi-weekly. To start I'm just going to play it by ear, since it's quite possible that no one really gives a shit about anything I have to say, although I honestly find that hard to believe because there has to be others out there who out of sheer boredom, and lack of social skills, will read anything in order to interact with other human beings. So my peeps, spread the word, tell your friends, block the kiddies (I do think censorship is a parental right up to a certain age), and be ready for anything, as Nancyisms has been unleashed on a largely unsuspecting world.
Nancy McGehee Guillory
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