Freedom

What does it mean to be free? As Americans we enjoy many so called freedoms. We can elect our public officials, we have religious freedom, and are free from government persecution. As a newly single forty something female, I have my own kind of freedom, whether I like or want it.

At age 45 (well almost 7/14 is just around the corner) I never thought I would pretty much be alone in the world. Both parents are deceased, and the man I thought I'd share the rest of my life with died last year. I have no children, and my pets rarely deter me from doing as I damn well please. The fact that I truly don't have another living soul on this earth to answer to is the ultimate freedom. The only person I answer to is my own self, and of course, ultimately God. Some people might say I'm obligated to my job, housenote, bills, responsibilities, but when I think about it, not really. I take responsibility for all those things as obligations because it makes my life much nicer, and I was raised to take responsibility for my actions, and honor the agreements I make. Do I HAVE to do that? No, because I'm free to make my own decisions and choices regarding how I live my life.
Another aspect of my personal freedom is how my freedom effects others, my friends and family. Do I care what people think of me? Certain people in my life, yes, I do. Why? Because I admire, respect, and genuinely care for them, and I don't ever want them to think less of me, or cause problems between us.  The folks outside that circle...well if you don't know me like that or pay my light bill and kiss me goodnight, then your opinion of me matters not. What you say about me has zero bearing because you don't know me well enough to talk about me in the first place.
Freedom. So many people fight for it, yearn for it, and even die for it. I've recently been told I'm lucky, because I can just go and do as I please, with not chick nor child to hold me back. I can live where I want, wear what I want, say and do what I please, and if I offend someone, or piss them off... oh well, it's not like I'm going to get in trouble for it. Sounds incredible doesn't it? Sounds like a kick ass way to take charge of one's destiny and live life on one's own terms. Honestly, I'd give my very soul to have my husband with me again, and have to report in so he wouldn't worry. I'd love to have my mother here to guide me with her wisdom when I have tough decisions to make. So many times I've wished for my dad's steadfast assurance that everything will be alright. Now, it's up to me to handle things on my own.
There are certain freedoms we all share, and some freedoms are more precious than others. What sounded like freedom as a teenager, is pretty much the life I'm living today. I enjoy being able to do as I please with no one to tell me otherwise, and I have a really good life, filled with alot of good people. But, I understand now, that not all freedom is worth the price paid for it.